Its late night, I'm squatting in the POS eating an icecream cone while the other three guys go huff on some C320 Gas in the static. Suddenly they start talking about probes on DScan, as well as an Interdictor and an Ishtar. They warp off home and we discover that Blue-Fire had rolled into us and are now our back door. What begins is quite a bit of banter back and forth in local.
Belgann > Hello?
Belgann > Anyone home?
Belgann > pvp?
Blodhgarm Dethahal > I'm eating icecream!
Belgann > Your add sucked by the way.
Blodhgarm Dethahal > ofc it did
Blodhgarm Dethahal > do you not even know us?
Hera Chawla > no actually that's the only reason I recognized your name
Belgann > Nope, just an observation.
Blodhgarm Dethahal > well we suck. just putting it out there
*snip*
Blodhgarm Dethahal > brb eating icecreamSexy Carebear > You came at the wrong time; we always do ice cream happy hour from 04-08 on Saturdays.
Belgann > wow
Sexy Carebear > unless you guys want to eat ice cream with us?
Shaded Ruse Sukarala > would you like some?
Sexy Carebear > it's an alliance ritual
Belgann > how are you going to recruit people if you don't pvp
Belgann > spend all that time on an add..
Sexy Carebear > we do; just not during ice cream happy hour
*snip*
Mighty Term > Anyone got more ice-cream?Blodhgarm Dethahal > I got some on my mic
dosthesaint > mmm ice cream
Shaded Ruse Sukarala > I dont know.. these guys seem to be a bunch of ice cream haters
Mighty Term > I don't think that's ice cream blood
Blodhgarm Dethahal > can't tell if masterbation joke or not
Blodhgarm Dethahal > besides.. its mint chip icecream
Neferiti > I think that came off your chin but it doesnt look like ice cream to me.......;)
Hera Chawla > heh, mintchip
Zlorthishen > lol
Blodhgarm Dethahal > you think mintchip icecream comes out of CCP Mintchip's tits?
Zlorthishen > she isn't in CCP anymore
Zlorthishen > dust ded
At this point I know they are bored and I am bored as well, so I grab an Enyo and see what I can make happen with their Worm, Ishtar and Onyx on their back door. I was hoping that I could draw the Worm out and kill it in a more or less 1v1, but I couldn't quite get tackle. He came within 11km of me but my scram only reached to 10km heated, if only I had links! I did manage to get out though, in 13% hull.
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| Close! |
Blodhgarm Dethahal > gf
Sexy Carebear > http://fitnwellmommy.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/icecream.jpg
dosthesaint > gf
Blodhgarm Dethahal > gf
Blodhgarm Dethahal > so on that pic... whats the ratio of lipstick to icecream tasted
*snip*
Blodhgarm Dethahal > honestly its so late here idk if we can give the fight you deserve tbhdosthesaint > we got guys headed to bed as well
Fellout > to be honest
Fellout > we just hate pocos
SoulRipper666 > they offend me
Sexy Carebear > no hard feels; we do too
Blodhgarm Dethahal > wait your bashing a POCO?
Fellout > >.>
Fellout > <.<
Sexy Carebear > we hate them so much we refuse to be on grid with them
Blodhgarm Dethahal > on a scale of one to your girlfriends how bored are you
Iris Sagitta > MFW no girlfriend
Blodhgarm Dethahal > damn
Blodhgarm Dethahal > should have guessed :P
Fellout > well, we were so terrible that 3 dictors couldn't catch your anathema scout
SoulRipper666 > >.<
Fellout > that we had no choice but to start shooting structures
Fellout > to sooth our rage
Hera Chawla > My girlfriends 10 hours away :/
I'm getting bored again, so I grab an Ishkur that is my CEO's, try to refit it a bit to work better for kiting, and head out. An Ishtar decided to rape my face with Curator drones though, so I had to bug out again.
Blodhgarm Dethahal > you guys have one?
Lakshata Chawla > I havea few in my pos
Lakshata Chawla > you should warp to it
SoulRipper666 > give him the wp
SoulRipper666 > pw*
Lakshata Chawla > c320
Zlorthishen > come to planet 6 poco and i'll drop you one
Lakshata Chawla > #320huffit
Blodhgarm Dethahal > so what goes in a mid slot with 26 CPU left
Blodhgarm Dethahal > I'm terrible plz halp
Iris Sagitta > eccm?
Fellout > sebo!
Iris Sagitta > what are you fitting?
Blodhgarm Dethahal > cap recharger it is!
SoulRipper666 > survey scanner
Iris Sagitta > \o/
Fellout > must be fitting a cap stable pve tengu
Shaded Ruse Sukarala > naw its a drake, even better
Blodhgarm Dethahal > gfgf
Lakshata Chawla > op success
Blodhgarm Dethahal > well.. I think I'm going to bed..
Fellout > op success
SoulRipper666 > \o/
Hera Chawla > us too
dosthesaint > we will be back for that poco
dosthesaint > o/
Blodhgarm Dethahal > good
Blodhgarm Dethahal > hopefully at a better time
Blodhgarm Dethahal > night.. cya around \o
And so we go to bed, after they had reinforced a POCO and nearly killed me twice. It would be an interesting day tomorrow though, with Blue-Fire involved again, as well as a few Lazers and Hawks.
-----
I log in early next morning to discover Lazerhawks has replaced Blue-Fire as our backdoor, but Blue-Fire has moved from being our back door to our static. This is going to be a fun day. Lazerhawks currently has a 10-12 man gang on a back door null sec in our home. Lacking sufficient numbers to break their Logistics, we talk about bombing them and seeing if we can alpha through their Shield Ishtars before their two Scimitars can land repairs. Unfortunately, that plan is put on hold due to the simple fact that no one has any bombs, or even Bombers. A few people go out a Frigate Hole that leads to a C1 with a high sec connection to grab some Bombers. In the meantime, a few of us pull Lazerhawk's fur a bit, seeing if we can pop a separated Arazu before the rest of the fleet lands. That did not really work though.
Lazerhawks eventually gets bored of us, and retires back to their home system. Leaving us to continue scanning the static chain and have me keep an eye on the Hawks with an alt. We attempt to shotgun the null sec and see if we can grab some miners and ratters, unfortunately we had no luck at that. This left us to trying to fight Lazerhawks, in which we had minimal confidence of winning, but its the weekend, we had to get something big going. After nearly an hour of pinging for people to wake up, we get approximately 18 guys online (real people). Lets see what we can make happen.
The first 45 minutes or so are form up games. Lazerhawks has Shield Ishtars fitted up for kiting. We form up similar as best we can, but we don't fly shield often, and a lot of people lost shield ships last Sunday. After we form up Shield Kite they form up Shield brawl with HAMgus (or maybe Railgus, I did not look at the fit with my alt very closely). We decide to counter with our classic Kitchen Sink Armor Brawl doctrine. Bring everything, is it armor? bring it. Lazerhawks form up Armor Brawl as well, but with all T3s have 5 Guardians. We have three Guardian for Logistics, and a Falcon, 2 Jamgus, a Scorpion, knowing that we would have to neutralize their Logistic advantage to win. As for our DPS wing, well, as one Redditor said, "Jesus, you threw the entire kitchen at them." We have Blaster Proteus, Rail Proteus, Damnation, Navy Armageddon, Gnosis (which switched to Navy Vexor halfway through), Sacrilege, Muninn, everything that anyone could bring. In the meantime as this was happening, we had a little banter in local, with some more icecream to go with it all.
Sexy Carebear > Ice cream social hour anyone?
Phillips Helljumper > can i have good fight flavored?
Blodhgarm Dethahal > https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=ben%20and%20jerry's%20flavors%20good%20fight
Sexy Carebear > We had one last night while Blue-Fire insisted on shooting at things orbiting planets.
Phillips Helljumper > i to like to shoot things that dont shoot back =P said no pvp pilot ever
Sexy Carebear > ^
After waiting so long and playing form up games and coming so close to having an aneurysm, I just say fuck it and warp to our static. Everyone follows. The reason we chose our static as the place of engagement was two fold, 1) they can't just jump back into their home system to escape and 2) reinforcements (including capitals) will be delayed when arriving from their home system. It wasn't too long after we warped to the static that they came at us. 9-10 Proteus, a Jamgu, 5 Guardians, 2-3 Legions and 3 Lokis approximately.
After they landed we primaried DPS that landed first, and spread jams across all of the Guardians. With the amount of ECM we had, it was not hard to get successful jams. At one point we even had all of them jammed out. So in the meantime we force some of their DPS into low armor and jump into our static for safety, mostly Protei. After we lesson the amount of DPS on grid, we start going for their Guardians, popping three in quick order. This, more than anything, forced Lazerhawks to escalate to a Triage Archon for Logistics, so they could just ignore our ECM.
At this point we completely lost our shit. Most of us had limited capital PvP experience, so we probably went a bit overkill on what we brought next. Andoi drops his Jamgu for a Naglfar, Aladar goes for his Moros, 350 grabs his Naglfar as well. We also log in a Triage Archon as well, and I run for my Bhaalgorn. My Bhaalgorn gets back on grid first, and I start neuting out the Archon as best I can, despite being counter neuted and primaried and jammed. Andoi is the next one who lands on grid, and between the neut pressure from my Bhaalgorn and our two Neut Legions and Andoi's Naglfar, and finally Aladar's late Moros, the Archon submits.
Beowulf's Archon lands next, and just in time too as 2 out of 3 of our Guardians were jammed at the time, and he was able to give me the capacitor to keep neuting despite being counter neuted. While our FC directed subcapitals to go after their remaining two Guardians and some of their DPS, our Dreads (now with 350 on grid) turned their attention to a new object of interest: a Moros. As our neuting ships close in to start delivering our package, Aladar decides to be different and blap their newly arrived Bhaalgorn. With no enemy Logistics on grid anymore, there is no hope left for Lazerhawks. As the Moros goes down their subcapitals evacuate through our static.
Saavik Ambraelle > gf ecm blob
Beowulf Odunen > 2 ecm tengus
Beowulf Odunen > and a falcon
ksig cook > scorp?
ksig cook > gf
Blodhgarm Dethahal > gf
ksig cook > nevermind my rolling MWD that i didnt take off in the haste to get on grid :/
Ilaister > gfgf
Sexy Carebear > gf
Prophet Bathana > gf
Balor Digenise > gf
Galo Entie > gf
Blodhgarm Dethahal > god I'm shaking
Blodhgarm Dethahal > good fucking fight
Ilaister > sweaty palms much
Ilaister > Thanks for pew Lazer
Prophet Bathana > Thanks for pew gf
dekoram > wish we could have fought back more lol but thanks for forimng up :)
Ronnie Dobbs393 > damn. i almost got away haha
Galo Entie > :) gf man
Rick TheQuick > lol srry we're jerks :/
Ronnie Dobbs393 > let me go for it?
Galo Entie > we're not that nice
Ronnie Dobbs393 > haha
Ronnie Dobbs393 > o7
dekoram > can i whore on his pod?
Sivney Quincannon > Lol
Galo Entie > hahaha
Blodhgarm Dethahal > yeah sure
Alysa Liz > all finish on this pod
Blodhgarm Dethahal > someone got trigger happy
Blodhgarm Dethahal > :(
dekoram > :(
Blodhgarm Dethahal > that was a good icecream social
Just straight up: ECM won us that fight. With less ECM we couldn't have broken their Logistics, couldn't have forced them to escalate to capitals (thus allowing us to counter drop capitals). It may seem like a cheap tactic, but hey, it worked, and everyone who flew an EWar ship during that fight got a tag on Teamspeak. Damn good fight Lazerhawks, maybe we will be less worried next time at the thought of fighting a bigger entity.
Of course we end our day with a hilarious loss(es) latter.
-----
So, we are all sitting there with a few billion in loot and a reduced static. We are wondering what to do next, when we remember that Blue-Fire is the occupant of our static and they will probably be logging on within an hour or two. So we just wait around and relax a bit as we see them trickle online,
We vastly underestimate their DPS though, and we remember too late that CCP had recently buffed small weapon damage in Wolf-Rayets, which is the type of system Blue-Fire lives in. This also includes Rapid Light Missile Launchers, which is what their Cerberus's were fit with. Each Cerberus was easily kicking 1200 DPS, more than enough to completely nuke anything we could throw at them.
Slightly frustrated, we decide to just roll the connection. We make a few passes with battleships, and then Prophet decides to step up with his Orca alt and say, "I'm 100% sure my Orca can make it."
Soundcloud of comms
That went well. That was pretty funny though.
Battle Report.
It was a damn good day. Nothing else to say.
Blöd
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